I want to influence the mental health industry through my experiences, realising that if one can understand their mind, they can help themselves and accept their mental health as a part of who they are and use it to their advantage as if I Can, You Can.
In 2016 I was diagnosed with Bi Polar. At the time I had no idea what it was, except that it was a label. My energy levels were high, but I was always hyper throughout life, this was my personality, but there were times when I was feeling low too.
Looking back, I realised prior to the diagnosis I had pumped myself up with so much positivity and I was literally buzzing, inside and outside and it was showing through my behaviour, being very erratic and frantic. Even at the hospital, when I told a family member I could feel my phone plug vibrating when I pulled it out, I just couldn't understand it, but I knew I felt it, but it was just a plug! How can you feel a plug vibrate?
I realised I had raised my vibration levels really high, so high and I couldn't even control myself, I was out of control as I was so unaware of what was happening to me. For this I am forever grateful that my employer at the time did look after me and advised me to be escorted straight to the hospital at the end of the day. Little did I know, I would be off sick for months!
As far as I was concerned, there was nothing wrong with me, I was feeling great. I realised I needed to know how to control my energy, but I had no idea how to. This I didn't learn then, as I stayed home, took medication, was knocked out to sleep for 14 hours each day. Previously I had hardly slept, 3 to 4 hours maximum daily for 2 weeks and was so wide awake and alert. Having stayed at home on medication for several months, my energy went back to my normal state, a lower vibration level - so normal, I couldn't feel myself buzzing anymore.
I do believe that everything was happening for me. As an accountant, work keeps me busy and I am always under pressure. Somehow, on my last day in the office, I did no work and my entire work schedule got cleared just like that. I recall things happening, as if everyone I interacted with was helping me. Others were happy to be around me, I was connecting with some who I never spoke to and everyone just seemed happy to be around me. I was working until 10pm every day, and I wasn't even annoyed, I was just buzzing with joy. What I realised was energy was flowing through me, and out of me too through my behaviour. I was elated, and what I realised now is, I needed to learn to ground my energy, and focus it.
The next few blogs I am going to talk about various topics around mental health through my experiences, firstly what exactly bi polar is, what labels are, energy, medication, etc.
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Thank you for reading and until next time.