I have mentioned in a previous blog that we are energy.
If this is the case, how is this energy transmitted? I believe it is transmitted through our behaviour and actions. This could be anything from talking, singing, dancing, exercising and even shouting at others, etc.
When we shout at others, it isn’t nice for the other person. No one likes to be shouted at and even more so when you have done nothing wrong to be shouted at for. Have you ever experienced someone being angry at you for no reason? I have thought recently, is this because the other person misdirected their anger from other issues onto you? I feel I have experienced both sides of this.
Being on the receiving end of an angry person
One day, I was merely organising my joint birthday celebrations with a friend, all I asked was, “What would you like to do to celebrate our birthday together?” and I offered a suggestion. Her response was so unexpected, literally as if she was shouting the odds off at me through a text message. I was so shocked and upset by her response and I ended up reacting back, thinking she didn’t want to do a joint birthday celebration in the end.
I found out later this person had reacted in such a way because she had split with her partner that day, which explained her aggressive text message towards me. I still didn’t think that was a good enough reason to treat someone like that and thinking about it, I don’t even recall her apologising to me about this after either, we just stopped talking since.
Being the angry person
Fast forward to 2020, I had some unexpected sad news recently which had deeply upset me. I thought I was ok about it. But later that day I ended up misdirecting all my anger at someone else, who I was already upset with, but it was something minor. I ended up shouting at them in such an unexpected way, I was literally like a monster. I have never known myself to shout at anyone in such a way ever.
I didn’t have the right to treat this person in such a way. After the incident happened, I did feel calm (I mean no wonder as I let all my anger out from the unexpected sad news on this person), and I did apologise right after, but the damage had been done. Now this person refuses to accept my apology and has decided to ignore me. I am finding this difficult, but also realise, we all make mistakes. I have realised my mistake and all I can do is work on myself to ensure I never treat anyone else in such a way again.
Other behaviour of mine that could be misdirected energy
I recall as a child I was left crying on the grass, and all I did was cry. I was put there as I wouldn’t stop crying but I think I just kept crying even more until I eventually stopped and accepted being there. Looking back, me crying was a way of expressing my energy, being heard but I guess it never really worked. As a result I eventually stopped and started talking to people instead to be heard.
When I was younger I was told by someone close to me, “People don’t want to talk to you, as you keep talking at them”. I heard the same from a University friend, “People don’t want to talk to you, as you keep talking at them.” At the time I never understood this, because as far as I was concerned, I was being me, friendly and chatty to all.
I was unaware that I was talking to people as opposed to having a two way conversation with people, but looking back I have realised I did do this. I am aware of this now. Looking back I realised I tried to listen and not interrupt others, but at times I just couldn’t help myself, it was a habit I had. I realised I was expressing my energy in an alternative way from crying and all I wanted was to be heard, and some people did listen to me too but I felt most didn’t so I tried even harder to be heard.
I wanted to be heard, as for some reason I felt as if others didn’t always listen to me, really hear what I had to say, therefore me wanting to be heard was expressed through me first crying, and after talking to others. But then again, is it that I had so much energy within me and I didn’t know any better way to release it than to at first cry and then later talk to people? And because I cried, spoke so much, others became indifferent to my behaviour, so took less or no notice of it, hence I felt even more unheard, when really I was expressing myself in an ineffective way?
I believe talking to people wasn’t effective as not everyone wanted to hear me talk all the time, others want to be heard too.
In 2009 I accidently started exercising, and I have exercised twice a week regularly since, unless ill or on holiday. Throughout my life, I have always been into dancing too, joining different dance classes and attending once a week over the years. By taking part in these activities, I believe this was another way of me releasing my energy and this was an effective way, as through doing this I have become fitter and am able to eat more and not get too fat.
● Our energy can be transmitted through our behaviour.
● Sometimes this energy may get misdirected, especially though shouting at others.
● Energy can be directed effectively, by directing it into something that does you good.
● Energy can be directed ineffectively, by directing it into something that doesn’t make you feel good, i.e. talking to others so much that others don’t end up listening to you, so you end up feeling unheard.
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On a mission to inspire everyone through my life experiences as a British born female Indian diagnosed with Bi Polar because I believe that if I Can, You Can.