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High Vibrations - Bi Polar vs. Other Mental Health Conditions.

How and why you want to raise your vibration for the logically minded person - - I totally agree with this blog posted written by Will Polston, founder of Make It Happen.

In summary, we are all made up of atoms, which constantly vibrate. Vibrating is a way to describe our feelings/emotions, different states of mind. We want to reach a high vibrational state where we experience “life as is”, nothing is good or bad, it “just is”. It is through gratitude we can experience such a high vibrational state, see the good in the bad and the bad in the good.

I have realised during the lockdown period, I have literally been through most of the vibrational states on the chart in Will’s post, starting from really low to really high. I define Bi Polar as having high energy which fluctuates between one extreme state (very high) to the opposite extreme state (very low). Right now, I am at a place where I need to learn to balance myself more, which I am learning to do slowly over time. I have realised my natural state has always been a high vibration, but I never knew how to be calm from day one. This was reflected via my behaviour when I was talking at people, interrupting everyone, texting everyone at any time, e.g. 2 to 3am, visiting family and friends even when they may not have wanted me there, always being on stage; be it dancing or playing the keyboard at school, constantly doing everything possible in life in every minute of the day and the like. As other people said things to me, such as “you can’t do it”, or behaved towards me as if I wasn’t good enough, or didn’t acknowledge my presence, I took this on throughout my life, and from time to time I did hide myself away from the world. Despite this, I fought through, and I still did really well in life. I believe this is more so as I couldn’t control my energy, which was reflected through my behaviour, so kept talking and constantly doing everything possible in life.

Now that my thoughts in my mind are clearer and I am still learning to stop taking on how others react towards me, I think what I want and I am less afraid to shy myself from the world. The strange thing is, I am being me, but I have been labelled as Bi Polar by the medical professionals after 30 years of living my life as me. Upon reflection, this is a good thing, as it has helped me to understand myself better, who I am and why I acted the way I did at each stage of my life.

A few months back someone thought my diagnosis may be wrong, as having observed myself, they saw I had similar traits as their child who has ADHD. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is where one is hyperactive always. To me this is a sign of having high energy always. The similarity to bi polar is this high energy where one is in the manic state of mind.

I spoke to another psychiatric who was the best friend of someone close to me. After an hour and a half conversation, they also thought my diagnosis was wrong, labelling me with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is where over a period of time one has strong emotional reactions, and unawareness of their identity. The similarity to bi polar here is the strong emotional reactions where one fluctuates between states of being really happy one minute, then really angry the next minute, experiencing a strong emotional reaction.

I never thought I was good at English and never in a million years would have imagined myself as writing a blog. Why? Because, at times when I write things, I can’t seem to write the thoughts in my mind fast enough, that I end up missing out words, or spelling words wrong or back to front, etc. Even when I send text messages, I always seem to miss a word out or spell words wrong and again, type words in the wrong ordering from time to time. This could be described as dyslexia. I have never been diagnosed as dyslexic, but I believe the way I am when I write from time to time, one could interrupt myself to be labelled as such. How does this relate to bi polar? Well, I believe the reason why I miss words out, or spell them wrong, or back to front is because I am expressing myself with high energy to rapidly to get the words out of my mind, so they come out faster than I am able to write or type them, hence not making sense and jumbled up at times until I proof read, and rewrite what I have written.

So which diagnosis is right and could I have multiple diagnoses? Whichever you want to believe and focus on as at the end of the day, these are all labels categorising some similar behaviour traits with some slight differences depending on which angle is being focused on. Being medically diagnosed and labelled helps one to understand their behaviour better if they are aware. The correct treatment can also be provided where necessary when the behaviour is more extreme to allow the patient to have a sense of normality in life.

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