My Mental Health - Initial Diagnosis

I want to influence the mental health industry through my experiences, realising that if one can understand their mind, they can help themselves and accept their mental health as a part of who they are and use it to their advantage as if I Can, You Can.

In 2016 I was diagnosed with Bi Polar. At the time I had no idea what it was, except that it was a label. My energy levels were high, but I was always hyper throughout life, this was my personality, but there were times when I was feeling low too.

Looking back, I realised prior to the diagnosis I had pumped myself up with so much positivity and I was literally buzzing, inside and outside and it was showing through my behaviour, being very erratic and frantic. Even at the hospital, when I told a family member I could feel my phone plug vibrating when I pulled it out, I just couldn't understand it, but I knew I felt it, but it was just a plug! How can you feel a plug vibrate?

I realised I had raised my vibration levels really high, so high and I couldn't even control myself, I was out of control as I was so unaware of what was happening to me. For this I am forever grateful that my employer at the time did look after me and advised me to be escorted straight to the hospital at the end of the day. Little did I know, I would be off sick for months!

As far as I was concerned, there was nothing wrong with me, I was feeling great. I realised I needed to know how to control my energy, but I had no idea how to. This I didn't learn then, as I stayed home, took medication, was knocked out to sleep for 14 hours each day. Previously I had hardly slept, 3 to 4 hours maximum daily for 2 weeks and was so wide awake and alert. Having stayed at home on medication for several months, my energy went back to my normal state, a lower vibration level - so normal, I couldn't feel myself buzzing anymore.

I do believe that everything was happening for me. As an accountant, work keeps me busy and I am always under pressure. Somehow, on my last day in the office, I did no work and my entire work schedule got cleared just like that. I recall things happening, as if everyone I interacted with was helping me. Others were happy to be around me, I was connecting with some who I never spoke to and everyone just seemed happy to be around me. I was working until 10pm every day, and I wasn't even annoyed, I was just buzzing with joy. What I realised was energy was flowing through me, and out of me too through my behaviour. I was elated, and what I realised now is, I needed to learn to ground my energy, and focus it.

The next few blogs I am going to talk about various topics around mental health through my experiences, firstly what exactly bi polar is, what labels are, energy, medication, etc.

If you are enjoying reading, please do subscribe and share with others. I'd like to get everyone talking more openly about their mental health too, and by doing so we can all help each other.

Thank you for reading and until next time.